A Starlight Orphan named Ba Nee will be blind within weeks if Jem and the Holograms don’t return to film Starbright and endure Eric’s abuse for those fat stacks of Hollywood cash. Do you have half a brain CWTAJ could borrow? Asking for a friend.

Our weekly Jem song is ‘Congratulations’, performed by Ellen Bernfeld and CWTA Podcast’s intro/outro song is ‘Bizarre Dub Triangle’, by New Order. CWTA artwork by @ignoretherobot on Twitter.

Email us at cwtapod@gmail.com and follow us on Twitter @CWTApod!