Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we return to Excalibur, and Excalibur returns to form; "Girls' School from Heck" is way better than we remembered; Jay has strong feelings about penmanship; we examine the semantics of field hockey; the band gets back together; Dai Thomas has no time for your comic-book bullshit; and you should never, ever install a good/evil switch in your technological abominations.

X-PLAINED

The first appearances of Colonel Vazhin
Perks of home recording
FlameCon 2017
Jay & Miles at Rose City Comic Con
Excalibur #32-36
"Girls' School from Heck!"
St. Searle's School for Young Ladies
St. Trinian's and a large number of references thereto
Regional variations in boarding school hijinks
Miss Rutherford
A poorly staged panel
Phoebe Huntsman
Kitty Pryde's penmanship
Margaret Thatcher's weirdly wholesome fantasies
The kinda-reformation of Mesmero
The end of Chris Claremont's run on Excalibur
Some complicated contradictions related to the ethics of consumption
An abduction
The ethics of psychic interrogation (kinda)
Mariner disambiguation
A rescue
An unlikely partnership
Darkmoor Research Center
Dr. Walshe
A somewhat convoluted plot
Whether the Danger Room could function as a bathroom
The physics of Asteroid M

NEXT EPISODE: Weapon X!

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Special thanks to Gavia Baker-Whitelaw for helping us assemble the St. Searle's marginalia!