ROUND 1: Last week we ripped on Army a bit for kicking off Sexual Assault Awareness month with big smiles & a giant sheet cake. Well the head of Navy's Sexual Assault Prevention Programs just showed up & said, ‘Hold my beer, I can top that.'

ROUND 2: Who among us isn't getting a little thicc these days? Being Chonk is all well & good, but a new ruling says that won't get you a disability claim through the VA.

ROUND 3: We figured out how to fix the VA with Chinese Jerk off machines

ROUND 4: Richard Cole, the last surviving member of the Doolittle Raid on Japan, has died at age 103. We'll tell you his incredible story.

ROUND 5: Friend of the show Kirstie Ennis is out to conquer Mount Everest. Shout out Kirstie.