We came into the Emergency Room with my daughter on Sunday, knowing something was seriously wrong with her.
Four days and 3 night later, we’re sitting at the precipice of a discharge, going home with good news.
If you have ever been in the hospital with someone you love, you know that it is a vortex...normal life doesn't exist here and time works completely differently than it does in the outside world.
Which is why since Sunday, I have been understandably unplugged from my normal business workings. I've had to reschedule with clients, podcast guests, podcast interviews (so grateful for the grace and understanding of each of these ladies!) and have overall been absent on social media.
Always one to want to share lessons, I thought long and hard about what I could possibly share with you about this experience that would actually be meaningful to you.
I could talk about the power of delegating…
...because with just a few messages and Voxers, I was able to give my team what they needed to make sure Biz Women Rock was still moving while I was tending to my daughter.
I could talk about how vital great systems are to run a successful business…
...because oh my goodness, is a hospital a ripe case study for old school and new school systems! Some that are high tech and mitigate errors (an ankle bracelet that had a barcode and QR code that they would scan anytime they took her blood pressure, did a test or conducted an exam like an MRI). And some that are really old and probably have a reason for still being used, but to the trained eye of an on-demand consumer, are obviously in need of updating (we seriously have to wait for the Doc to tell us test results in person? How about immediate communication via an online video conferencing platform so we can get results asap instead of waiting until she's here again tomorrow?).
I could talk about the power of niching…
...because coming to a children's hospital instead of a general ER and hospital made such a huge difference! They specialize and therefore our experience was so much richer than it would have been otherwise. They had a play room where we spent a ton of time, an awesome red wagon that Sedona loooooved riding in, a playground we could go to in the courtyard and most importantly, doctors, nurses and care staff who deal with babies and kids all day every day.
I could talk about the power of FOCUS…
...because there ain’t nothing like a health emergency that will make you massively shift your priorities in a millisecond. All of a sudden, I knew exactly what the most important actions were, knew exactly how I needed to spend my time, knew exactly what I needed to do to and did it. No hesitation. No drama. Just action. (By the way, if FOCUS is something you need in your biz right now, check out the Make It Happen Mastermind HERE → http://bizwomenrock.com/mastermind)
But I'm not going to talk about any of those practicalities.
I'm going to share with you about the EMOTIONAL JOURNEY of the past few days.
Because all the achievements, to-do’s, goals, systems and strategies in business happen on top of this thing called your EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (“the capability of individuals to recognize their own and other people's emotions, discern between different feelings and label them appropriately, use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior, and manage and/or adjust emotions to adapt to environments or achieve one's goal(s)” according to Wikipedia).
And it hit me at 4am this morning, as I was was holding back tears as my daughter cried while they took blood from her one...last...time...that this entire journey of entrepreneurship forces us to uplevel our Emotional Intelligence BIG TIME. That, just like a medical emergency, it puts situations in our face that will test us and that we have to deal with. And we’ll either fail to rise to that test (ex: lose my shit with the girl who kept coming in and waking my daughter up to take her temp and blood pressure!) or we succeed with flying colors and oftentimes surprise ourselves by how mature we actually handle things (ex: not letting myself get overly fearful and worked up about anything I was speculating could be wrong with her).
But the point is that we face so many situations that call our emotional intelligence into play and it’s VITAL that we honor this and take the time to work on it and not just the practical strategies of business.
So many times during my 1on1 strategy sessions with clients, emotional stuff will come up that requires attention in order for forward progress to be made.
Last week’s podcast episode is a perfect example of this...I featured Biz Women Rock member, Allie Weitzel during a Live Coaching session and while we were working on her time management strategies, it became apparent that she was beating herself up and having a lot of negative emotions around the fact that she had just gone through a major blow in her business and was having trouble recovering quickly. It showed up in the practicalities of her not being able to get everything done she needed to get done, but the root of it was this negative emotion that was keeping her frozen and unproductive. And if this emotion wouldn’t have been dealt with, then no amount of strategizing could fix things!
WHAT EMOTIONS ARE UNDERNEATH YOUR ACTIONS (OR INACTIONS) RIGHT NOW?
As a brief exercise, I’m sharing with you a quick list of the common emotions that so often come up in business and that definitely came up for me in the hospital. My hope is that you’ll take a look through them and ask yourself if you’re feeling any of them right now. And, if you are, take some time to journal about it...perhaps you’ll uncover why you’re having that emotion and can deal with it head-on. And, when you do, I promise you, you’ll be surprised by how quickly things snap back into place in your business!
By far the most common - and often hidden - emotion in business! Fear can look like…
I’m afraid I won’t make the money I need to make
I’m afraid I’ll look stupid trying to sell my products/service
I’m afraid I’m not as good as “she” is
I’m afraid I’m not good enough
I’m afraid I’ll fail
I’m afraid my clients won’t be satisfied
I’m afraid I’ll make that painful mistake again
The tricky thing about fear is that it often isn’t obvious to us until we really do some digging. Some triggers to know if fear is really what is underneath everything could be…
You keep putting off launching something (and have perfectly good excuses as to why)
You refuse to hire help even though you desperately need it
You are stop and go with your marketing because you want to do it “perfectly”
You are not doing something you know you need to do in your biz (creating a funnel, investing in a program, coaching or a mastermind, growing into a new market, etc)
You are “in a rut” and can’t get out
If you’re nodding your head at any of these, take some time to write in your journal about it and see where fear may be the root of what’s holding you back in your biz!
Especially if you’re someone like me who really enjoys being positive and friendly, it may feel strange to be really ANGRY. Which means that you may not want to identify it if it’s there. A few weeks ago, I kept blowing up at my husband (poor guy). Yelling at him for the tiniest little things and even silently judging and cursing at him if he wasn’t doing exactly what I would want him to do. I was also getting SO frustrated so easily with everything I was attempting to do in my biz. If I couldn’t get an email out as fast as I wanted, I would blow up. If I didn’t have my entire program fill up the moment I started marketing, I was livid. If I didn’t get everything done I really wanted to, I was filled with anger. I was ridiculously uncomfortable with this anger and I finally realized it was stunting everything for me. So, I went to my journal and just started writing “I’m angry because…” and wrote 8 pages of all the things that pissed me off. This process allowed me a safe space to BE ANGRY and have it be okay. It also took the sting out of all those things because I was able to get it out of me. And, ultimately, it helped give me clarity on what was actually going on (there were 2 or 3 things I actually was legitimately angry about) and it gave me an opportunity to deal with them. And because of this exercise, I stopped yelling at my hubs and gave him a giant apology ;). (Have I mentioned he’s a big fan of me journaling? lol!).
So, is there something you’re angry about? Take a good look at it and spend some time letting yourself be angry. Watch how doing that allows everything else to move right back into its groove.
Okay, so this isn’t a legitimate “feeling,” but it is something that so many biz women feel very often that can negatively impact our growth, so I believe it’s worth noting. Overwhelm comes when there’s too much in front of us. Too much opportunity. Too much to do. Too much responsibility. Too much information.
It freezes us. It stops us. And generally speaking, it spirals us down into feeling isolated, depressed and disheartened.
And our business suffers big time.
I had to work really hard at staying out of overwhelm while we were in the hospital. Every time they ran a test, new results would come back that would take us in a different direction with a new set of possible reasons we were here in the first place. My mind quickly wanted to skip ahead into the possible diagnoses, which would flood my mind with statistics, solutions and causes that would immediately got my heart beating fast while worry and stress took over. It was too much and I had to quickly reel myself back into the moment.
When you’re feeling overwhelmed, here are a few hacks to get out of it fast.
- Talk to someone. Download what’s going on in your mind onto a trusted friend, colleague or family member. The act of talking it out will help you make sense of everything and deflate the feeling of pressure from your thoughts.
- Journal. Write down what you’re feeling and why you’re overwhelmed. It will give you that same sense of relief as talking to someone.
- Write down your #1 priority. Ask yourself what is the ONE THING that is most important for you to do and write it down. Nothing else. And then go to work getting that one thing done. That’s it.
- Write a brain dump of the to-do’s in your head. I’m not a huge advocate of a giant “to-do list,” but sometimes, getting all those thoughts or ideas or action items down on paper helps you feel like you’ve gotten ahold of them and it’s a great starting point for you to then prioritize your activities.
- Be present and focus on the next best step. Stop thinking about the big picture and be present in the moment. Just focus on the next thing you need to think about. That’s it.
Holding my baby girl when we walked into our house for the first time in 4 days so I could put her in her own bed for a restful nap...that was pure joy!
Getting the first person to commit to the Make It Happen Mastermind and squealing in delight because I knew it was exactly what she has been craving to help her achieve her goals...that was incredibly joyful!
Helping a client during a strategy session create a business model that made perfect sense for everything she’s been building...total joy!
Getting on a Facebook Live and talking back and forth with you...pure joy!
We feel JOY a LOT. Yet, as a direct contrast to these other emotions, we tend to let the feeling come up and then quickly move on, not giving joy the full amount of attention it deserves.
The most important thing to understand about the emotion of JOY is that it is the fountain of youth for your business! It keeps you young and vibrant and excited about your mission. The more you feel it, the more refreshed energy you bring to your tasks, the more positivity you bring to your day, the more creativity and inspiration surround you!
So, your job is to recognize joy, accentuate it and create MORE of it!
How have you felt joy in your business lately? My guess is that if you make a list of all the moments of joy, you’ll be surprised by how many things you write down. It may be a great way to get into a place of gratitude that will fuel your business into the stratosphere!!!
There is no escaping the emotions that are the foundation of our entire business workings. And if we try...if we try to ignore fear or anger or overwhelm or joy and just work on strategy, then we’ve done ourselves and our business a giant disservice.
It’s only when we understand that this entire business journey is one with our emotional and personal development that we can start to really make some massive moves towards our visions!
PS: The above post was written the day we got home from the hospital. I’m happy to share that my daughter is doing GREAT and playing around like the energetic toddler she is! Thank you SO MUCH for your thoughts and prayers and good energies sent our way!
PPS: If hearing about the Make It Happen Mastermind perked your ears, find out more about it HERE (http://bizwomenrock.com/mastermind)...it’s the perfect combination of structure, accountability, support, strategies and ideas you need to ensure you blow your 2017 goals out of the water!