In which we stop procrastinating and dive headfirst into Onslaught; Professor Xavier is a jerk; Dark Beast wasn’t even supposed to be here today; Onslaught declaims like it’s the Silver Age; Bishop gets some long-awaited closure; and we pitch alternate candidates for the X-traitor.

X-PLAINED:

• Hyperstorm
• Onslaught (entity)
• Onslaught (event)
• Uncanny X-Men #334
• X-Men #54
• Onslaught: X-Men #1
• How to pronounce “Buccellato”
• The opposite of a pep talk
• Nate Grey vs. Professor X
• The Z’noxx (again)
• One of several times Charles Xavier has faked his own death
• Muscle March
• Franklin Richards
• The Gem of Cyttorak
• A villain speech
• That one recording Bishop found in the future
• The X-traitor
• Li’l Charlie
• Magneto’s hood ornament
• Alternate takes on the X-traitor

NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught continues.

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