In which Banshee should eat the rich; the real Monet is way more of a jerk than the fake one; the Marvel Universe is the world inside your brain-case; Maggott joins and quits Generation X at almost the speed of Sunfire; Dracula gives Chamber the D; and if Jay and Miles die in this episode, they die in real life.

X-PLAINED:

  • Dracula as a universal standard
  • Earth-441
  • Generation X #48-49
  • The missed potential of 13,000-year-old teenager Gaia
  • The Jay Faerber run of Generation X
  • Emma and Banshee’s forgotten X-friendship
  • That time that Moira ripped off Banshee’s skin and wore it like a Halloween costume (again)
  • Cordelia Frost, Emma’s younger sister
  • Adrienne Frost, Emma’s older sister
  • Interpersonal arguments by way of Asgardian combat scenarios
  • Jubilee, fox; versus M, scorpion
  • Alaska, moping capital of the Marvel Universe
  • Clever scene transitions
  • Constantine Francis Slaughter IV and his mustache
  • Puberty as body horror
  • Husk’s breakup haircut
  • Slug emulation
  • Generation X / Dracula Annual 1998
  • The Council of Cross-Time Draculas
  • Chamber’s goofy face
  • Vampire fonts
  • Jubilee’s bunny slippers
  • Charlie Brown in Snow Valley
  • Count von Count (again)
  • Monsters as class metaphor
  • What would happen if Synch synced with Legion
  • Who would pronounce Cable like Britta Perry pronounces bagel

NEXT EPISODE: Victor Von Doom X-Plains the X-Men.

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