ROUND 1 (15:07): What the… What the shell? What the sh… what the shell? The Navy and Coast Guard teamed up to rescue over 1100 sea turtles down in Texas who were experiencing shell shock from the cold.

ROUND 2 (21:25): A new rover landed on Mars and now we can see and hear what the planet is like. It is only a matter of time until the Marine Corps makes it a training base.

ROUND 3 (32:29): Talk show host Greg Kelly goes after Biden’s dog for looking too mangy for the White House… You leave these goddamn dogs ALONE, Greg.

ROUND 4 (42:25): This year marks the 75th anniversary of the Nuremberg convictions & what better way to showcase that than saying “Auf Wiedersehen, bitcc” to a Nazi found living in Tennessee.

ROUND 5 (50:46): Chaps round special: men with THESE features are the best in bed…